Loving energy brought our fish back to life

Loving energy brought our fish back to life…

The title sounds crazy, like one of those supernatural experience stories that you’ll find in a spiritual magazine. But it honestly is as literal as it sounds.

So here’s how it went…

Me and my mum came home after a nice, relaxing evening out to find that one of my brothers had cleaned the fish tank, which is so unusual but great! He hadn’t put the fish back into the tank because he was waiting for the water to warm up, as it was freezing cold. Without knowing this CRUCIAL PIECE OF INFORMATION, my mum put the fish back into the tank. But before we knew it, they began struggling to breath and swim. They were dying. I didn’t know what to do, I felt so helpless and scared that my initial reaction was to shout, “someone do something!” over and over again. I was beginning to cry out of frustration while my mum was shouting at my brother, blaming him for filling the tank up with cold water, and him blaming her for putting the fish back into the water assuming it was ready. It was mental. It felt like a lifetime but it was only a few seconds. The fish were fighting so hard to stay alive, until one of them stopped fighting and slowly floated to the top. It was heartbreaking. By then my other brother grabbed the fish net and put both fishes back into the bowl of warm water that they were previously in.

 

I rushed to the bowl to check if they were okay, only to find that just one had survived. The other fish had definitely died. I gently touched it a few times to be sure, but nothing. Not a single movement. We were all so sad but also in disbelief. I’m pretty sure we thought that it was going to come back to life. My brother, the only one that had the brains and the composure to take the fish out of the tank in the moment, was genuinely worried. I mean, we were all devastated, but there was something about his energy that made me feel like he cared a lot more than all of us did. He had so much compassion and to be completely honest, it was the first time I had seen that side to him that deeply. 

 

As he sat down next to the bowl, he went to stroke the fish that had died, as if to comfort it. I had just accepted that it was gone and was trying to find the strength to get up to flush it down the toilet. But, the second my brothers finger touched its skin, the fish flinched. Like it had woken up from a deep sleep. The more he touched it, the more it somehow began to find the strength to move and eventually swim again. We all jumped in shock and relief, questioning what we had witnessed. I knew about the power of energy and had read stories where things like this was possible, so I was able to recognise what had happened straight away.

 

The love, the concern, the sadness, the courage that my brother had, along with the urge to help those fish survive, all built up until it became pure, loving energy. With that energy, he was able to bring our fish back to life without even meaning to. The craziest part of it all is, the fish that didn’t die, ended up dying a few months after, and the fish that my brother brought back to life, still lives. It’s been over a year now. He’s not in our home any more but we’ve been told he’s healthy and happy.

 

It was the most powerful thing I’ve witnessed ’til this day. Because it was evident that love has the power to save anything. Something as simple as a feeling, a gesture, a touch, can make such an impact. Us as humans are more powerful than any other living being. This experience proved it. We have so much spiritual strength that it’s near enough impossible to find it all in one lifetime. But it’s there, whether we feel it or not. Whether we believe it or not. We have the power to save the world, to save our animals, to save each other…if we really wanted to. And how? The answer is love. Only love.

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Releasing your emotions is so important!

Never apologise for expressing yourself.

Never apologise for telling people how you feel.

Never allow them to make you feel wrong for doing so.

 

You may have been that person who always opened up but had it thrown in your face afterwards, which has now made you quite reserved.

 

You may have never had anyone who’d listen to you and attempt to understand you, so you’ve naturally become used to repressing your thoughts and feelings.

 

Either way, know that, feelings should be respected and honoured. All the damn time!

 

I was so used to opening up to people I really cared about, only to have them tell me things like, “you’re too nice” or “you’re draining my energy” or “no, you’re wrong, it’s not true” or, even worse… they became so distant with me afterwards, as if I’ve scared them away. Expressing myself, talking about my true feelings, basically always got thrown back into my face. So I stopped, for ages. I always thought that if I told someone how I felt, they wouldn’t understand, so it was easier to go through it alone. Until I realised, that it’s not actually wrong to tell people how you feel, that you will only scare away the ones who aren’t supposed to be in your life.

 

I still, to this day, find it challenging to talk about my feelings, because I fear being misunderstood, I fear not actually being listened to. The thought of explaining something to someone and being scared of the way they will react puts me off, as it mostly always ends up with them getting defensive and bringing up a load of random shit that had nothing to do with what I was saying in the first place. The thought of opening up makes me vulnerable but I always try to do it. I do it because I love to see the outcome, it allows me to see someones true colours, how they truly feel about me, and how much they value our friendship/relationship. I also open up through my writing, like right now, because it is a way for me to release the past, or present emotions, without me having to directly rely on anyone to help.

 

I went through a whole year where I was repressing everything that I felt. It was my hardest year yet. I held it all in, I never opened up to anyone, yet it was the one time when I should have. But I kept it all to myself. Slowly, my immune system became so low from all of the negativity that I was keeping locked inside of me. My skin became a way for all of those TOXIC thoughts and feelings to release themselves. I ended up getting this horrible skin disorder that left scars all over my body. I struggled so much with it. I had no idea why I was getting it or what it was, and was in and out of my GP and hospitals for 6 months straight, because the doctors also had no idea what it was. The only advice I received was, “you’re stressed” and “you need the sun.” Believe it or not, they were absolutely right. There was no physical or medical cure for my skin problem.

 

I began to learn that my feelings of being trapped and not having anyone to talk to anything about, feeling as though no one understood me, putting myself in situations that I couldn’t handle and having people in my life who were no good for me, all added up. I weren’t saying or doing ANYTHING about it. I started to resent people around me, mostly family and friends, for not being there, and became so angry to the point where I couldn’t look after myself. I was at such a low point that I didn’t even want to. I wasn’t listening to my body and what it was telling me, so it had to free itself somehow. It definitely showed me though.

 

The moment I began to change things around, removing those toxic people from my life, leaving my part-time job, not allowing my parents divorce to bother me as much, my skin improved. So, that was my cure all along. A positive mindset, self-love and change, good change! That was the start of my self-care journey. That was the moment when I decided to pull myself up and never go back down again. I promised myself that no matter how low I do go in the future, I will NEVER stop focusing on my health and myself. I turned to spirituality to help with that, which introduced me to yoga, having healthy mind, body and soul, and loads of amazing spiritual and self-improvement books.

 

So, basically, the moral of my story is, never hold in your emotions and don’t quiet your voice for anyone! Because when you do this, you are really just locking the hurt, the anger and the pain inside your body with no way for it to escape, other than through your body. You’ll notice that when people are stressed, they start loosing hair, they become ill all the time (low immune system), they develop skin disorders and other harmful, life threatening problems… Why? Because of all the harmful feelings and emotions that are eating away at their insides, at their hearts. They are trying to solider through the pain without seeking help, without being heard. Even thinking that they can and should deal with it themselves, without realising that the pressure they are putting on themselves is just as harmful.

 

You don’t have to be alone in these situations. You don’t have to hide. Let it all out. Talk to your friends; find a way to release the pain, preferably through self-care and healthy hobbies, such as the gym, yoga, healthy eating, writing, meditating, reading, singing etc. It is so hard to loose yourself in these moments, it’s so hard to stop yourself from being happy but with enough self worth, you will be fine. Remind yourself daily that you are worth it! You are strong, beautiful and worthy of being heard. You are worthy of living a good life and you sure as hell deserve to do so! We all do.

 

There is so much light in the dark, you just have to look for it.

 

X

Choosing your crystals x

A SIMPLE STEP TO STEP ON HOW TO CHOOSE AND USE YOUR CRYSTALS

STEP 1

Go to one of those cute spiritual shops or stalls that sell crystals. Choose a few that you are attracted to. It could be their colour that stands out to you; it could be their shape or size. You might even get this magnetic force drawing you to them. Don’t think about it. Just pick a few. I choose mine by the colour that I feel most attracted to. Colour is energy!!! So don’t deny your choice just because you think that choosing one by its colour is silly. Every crystal has their own benefits, energies and meanings to them, so when you do choose, ask whoever is working there to tell you what the crystals you chose helps with. You’ll find that it’s probably the ones that relate to your current situations and feelings the most.

 

STEP 2

Go home and cleanse your crystals. You could run them under cold water, put them on your window seal on a full moon, leave them in your garden on the grass so that nature can ground and reenergize them, or cleanse them in the rain. You could even hold them in your hands, one by one, and let them directly feel you energy, visualize yourself connecting with your crystal. I would actually visualise it being my friend, I would think of love, trust and acceptance when holding it.

 

STEP 3

Find a place for them. Put them anywhere you feel that they should go. I keep three next to my bed and two on my window seal. Leave them for a week or two so that they can get used to you and your surroundings and energy.

 

STEP 4

So now, if you want, you can dedicate a crystal to help you with whatever you need guidance and support on – Romance, abundance, positivity, connecting with your spirit guides, angels and subconscious, compassion, protection, communication and confidence, etc.

To do this, lay your crystals in front of you. They say you should light an incense stick or burn some cinnamon to help with this, but you really just need to be in a quiet atmosphere and relaxed state of mind. Close your eyes, or open, whatever suits YOU. Tell yourself that you’re going to choose a crystal for a certain thing, for example, love. Then, choose the first crystal that you feel drawn to when you think of love. Hold it in your hand and tell it that from now on, it will be the crystal for love. You will take it with you when you meet someone for the first time, for a little support. You will have it in your pocket for a little bit of luck. Tell it what you want from it and how it can help you. Again, visualise it being a friend that will guide you through any thing to do with love and romance. It might take a little time for it to work; it depends on how much you trust in your crystals energy. People that don’t believe that they work will not experience the magic of it at all. But that’s like everything really isn’t it?

Hope this helps 🙂

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Crystal power

Yesterday, I randomly began reading a book (that my lovely cousin gave me as a birthday present) about how to use crystals. It was random because I was in the middle of cleaning my room, it was a bloody mess, I was so hot and so focused on cleaning, yet I somehow found the urge to stop right in the middle of what I was cleaning to pick out this book.

Any way, I found out that you could actually choose a crystal to help with dreaming. This was amazing news for me because I’m so fascinated with my dreams, they are so vivid and meaningful, and most of the time, I wake up feeling so disoriented because I feel like I really lived it. I also have a dream journal where I write down most of my dreams. I look back at it every now and then only to find out that some dreams were warnings, inner emotions that needed healing, past relatives visiting me, or visions of my future and past life. My dreams help me feel connected to everything, my soul, my subconscious, spirituality etc. It is a massive part of me. I’m not so good at reading the signs in my waking life, I mean, I can identify them, but I find it hard to act on them. I’m the type of person that has to SEE something in order to take action on it, because I always doubt my intuition. So, I guess that’s the reason why I rely so much on my dreams and what my subconscious has to tell me, because I can SEE it. It is real.

But recently I haven’t dreamt as much. It’s probably because I’ve been so busy and haven’t given myself or spirituality much thought. Actually, I haven’t focused on it for a few months now (defo not a good thing, I know). As weird as this might sound, I feel disconnected with my soul when I don’t dream.

That night, as I felt myself about to fall asleep, I remembered what I had read in that crystal book. So I looked at my amethyst which is always beside me when I sleep, and said in my head, “help me to dream tonight, show me my next step in life, let it be a sign of something I truly desire.”

Obviously, I had a dream that night…

I was in Cyprus, walking along the beach with my Nan…I said to her “I could live here, I could do it on my own and feel absolutely fine. I feel confident, I feel alive.” I remember thinking how much I missed the warmth, the sun, the sea and the relaxing atmosphere of somewhere that is not London. I felt so content. I felt happy. It was a realisation. 

It’s funny because I’ve been torn between two paths. One is to officially build my vegan dessert business up and dedicate all of my time to it. The other is to move abroad to work as a live in nanny, or in a primary school teaching English. My reason to go abroad is because, just like my dream, I really do miss the sun. I need to escape. I need to feel free again. I need to find myself again…and this might just be my calling to do so. But I stop myself from doing it ALL the time, because I don’t feel confident enough to get up and go for it, on my own.

The choice between the two is killing me. I can’t even imagine choosing, because I’m passionate about both. But, my dream revealed what my soul really wants. My soul spoke to me in my dream; it told me I could do it. It told me that I would be fine. I woke up that morning feeling so good, feeling a little more confident with the idea of moving abroad. I mean, It doesn’t help me make my decision, but I’m very much aware of it now. I trust that an opportunity will present itself when the time is right.

I completely forgot that I spoke to my crystal last night. I smiled as I remembered. I smiled because I’ve found the crystal that will enhance my dreams. Truthfully, I didn’t expect it to work. But it did, wohoo! This stuff works.

Keep an eye out for my next post! It’s a step to step on how to use your crystals.

x

Keep your light shining

Your light is what makes you, YOU. Whether it’s your laugh, your kindness, YOUR WEAKNESS (emphasis on weakness because your weakness is beautiful and only people who love you for you, will never use it against you), your spontaneity, your passion, your drive, and your presence as a whole. Don’t be ashamed of it. Does it get you into dumb situations? Yep, probably. Do you wish that you had said no? Hell yeah. Do you regret some things or would you do them differently, even though it would go against who you are as a person? No, you shouldn’t, ever. My kindness and my impulsiveness especially, got me into many stupid, sticky situations.

I am such an impulsive person, not like drinking and smoking and stuff. It’s more of a ‘don’t really think about what you do no matter how much shit it can get you in, live in the moment’ type of impulsiveness. It’s fun (and dangerous, sometimes). I admire it whenever I see someone with the same trait. BUT, this trait honestly did get me into so many stupid situations that often messed me up emotionally afterwards, as I never took the time to consider my feelings and my saftey. I hated it for a while, I blamed myself for being this way because of how much I put MYSELF through. So in a way, I tortured myself, by not acting on ANY decision impulisvely, even if it would do me good. I completely shut that side off and went for ‘safer’ version of myself, which funnily enough, blocked my creativity and completely clouded my vision of how I saw the world, my world, my dreams and my goals. In the end, I found the balance. I realised I actually liked that part of me.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is that there might be parts of you that you aren’t 100% sure about. You might think back and realise how bad they were, or how they caused you and others around you so much pain. You might not want anything to do with that side of you. You might hate how kind you are, how giving you are, because you’ve always had it thrown in your face by the ones who you loved most. You might love doing something, singing, drawing, dancing etc but always had someone put you down to the point where you genuinely don’t want to do it anymore. But, my advice is, find the balance. That thing you don’t like about yourself anymore, well, it’s a part of you and always will be no matter how much you think otherwise, so accept it.

Also, NEVER stop yourself from doing what your heart tells you to do, especially if you want to do it.

When you stop your soul from doing something that it wants to do, you are ignoring it. When you ignore it over and over again, it becomes quiet. When it becomes quiet, you may not hear it anymore. When you cannot hear the voice within you, you begin to lose yourself. Your light dims because you’ve put it out so many times by telling it it’s not worthy enough to be listened to.

Look at it like this…

Imagine constantly telling a child to stop doing something that they love, or to stop acting a certain way. Eventually, they won’t want to do it anymore because they’ve been taught not to. They’ve been taught that’s it’s wrong, that it’s annoying, or that no one likes it. They might even grow up feeling lost and not knowing what they want to do because no one ever acknowledged their true interest and passion from the start, which they end up forgetting about and may never remember again. When you tell a child to stop crying, crying is for babies, strong children don’t cry. That child will grow up thinking that crying is wrong. It will shut off its caring and emotional side (that was beautiful to begin with), it becomes this heartless, egotistic person that will look down on any real emotion because, to them, it is seen as weak.

Imagine yourself as a child; let yourself do anything it wants to do. Don’t let that child be you. Don’t tell yourself it’s wrong to act a certain way; don’t tell yourself it’s wrong for being who you are! Look back on a time where you were your happiest, and discover why. Become that happy person again, who never used to care about anything as much. Ask people around you what they love about you and what they see when they look at you. Whatever that is, that is your light. That is your vibe. BE THAT PERSON. Honor that person. Love the child within you.

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A little time…

I know I haven’t been posting a lot recently, I want to, but as bad as this might sound, I have not had the slightest bit of energy to do so. Everyday life is draining me to the max and I’m trying to deal with it in the best way I can. Not sure if I’m doing a good job but hey, at least I’m trying right?

You know those pressures you feel when you start something new, a hobby, blogging, poetry, workouts etc, but you also know you aren’t doing it as much as you should be. It pisses you off even more knowing that you want to, but can’t mentally do it. Or you can do it, but know you wont be giving it your all. That is me right now.

My minds been a blur, there’s so many things I’d like to write about, but it’s a mess up there. It’s all jumbled and I can’t seem to find the right way of writing things. I can’t express my words the way that I expect to when I begin writing. Is that normal? I don’t know. But its winding me up. It’s most probably the over thinking that builds this block in my mind, in my writing, so I suppose once I stop thinking about it, it will come naturally. That’s just the way this works though isn’t it? It’s the way the universe has always worked.

Once you put so much thought into something, it’s as if the thought no longer exists and it becomes nothing. You lose sight of the bigger picture, you lose sight of what you wanted in the first place. That pure original thought ends up being replaced with worry, doubt and ego.

So long story short. I’m working on it.

We all gotta work on what ever is dragging us down emotionally, spiritually and mentally. But at the same time, making sure to remember that it is okay to take a little break from things. No matter how much you love doing them. No matter how much you know you want to do them things. It may be, that all we need, is a little time to rediscover our pure intentions again.

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Quiet your mind

When I feel that my mind is too full, too noisy, when my thoughts are all over the place. The one thing that brings me back down to Earth is to be around nature. I’m not sure what happens that allows me to become grounded again, but it feels amazing. Sometimes I feel numb. Numb in the sense that I don’t remember all those horrible feelings that I had before. I hardly remember what made me feel the way I did in the first place.

So I sit, and I don’t think of anything but the trees and the sky and the entire universe. And how I am just one tiny person, with tiny problems, living in a HUGE world full of millions of people and animals, who also need all the help and love they can get.

I realise that we are all just trying to survive in the best and easiest way possible. I feel my soul talking. It tells me that nothing really matters as much as our minds trick us into believing it does. Nothing is as important or as scary as we make out it is. My soul tells me that time does not matter, that patience is EVERYTHING. That things can’t always come to us when we want it to and that things don’t always happen the way we planned it to.

And that’s it, that’s all it is. Acceptance. Living without expectation. Trust.

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