Letting go of the hate!

Okay maybe hate is a really strong word but when it comes down to how badly you’ve been treated then I suppose hating it is understandably normal.

Doesn’t it stress you out when you’re in bed, awake, WIDE awake late at night, thinking about all of the things that you’ve been through, and all of the people who have wronged you! You over think it. You start hating what they done to you more than when they actually done it, because it hits you, that they never actually realised how much it affected you? Don’t you hate knowing that no matter how much you think about it, it will not change anything?

I was actually the worst person when it came to this way of thinking. I would wind myself up so much. The main thing that got to me, was knowing that I hadn’t received an apology from those people who hurt me. It would have meant so much to me, they could have given me a decent reason for doing for they had done and a genuine apology for it. But nope. It angered me even more knowing that would NEVER happen. So I was always in battle with my thoughts. I would feel so drained and tense after thinking about it. I could literally feel what it was doing to my inner peace, my body…my heart!

I came to the conclusion that it doesn’t actually matter, none of it matters anymore. I began to understand that I don’t need an apology for any of it because it will not change what had happened. I realised that what I truly needed was to move on from it, and the only way to move on was to forgive! Forgive them. Forgive myself. So I slowly, and I mean slooooowly, attempted to start forgiving. I told the universe I was ready to move on from everything so that it could never bother me again, and that I would accept anything it put in my life that would help me on my journey of letting go. Funnily enough, these people actually came back into my life afterwards, by a text message and a few encounters. I knew it was time for forgiveness to happen so I went a long with it. The universe heard me.

It was tough, because those people brought back hurtful memories. It was even harder seeing that they still weren’t guilty or sorry AT ALL. In the end (a long time after) I chose to accept all of it. I’ve probably mentioned this in my other posts, but when there is acceptance, there is change. Good change. I trained myself to let go of the hate. I’d lay awake at night to find myself thinking about it, but instead of giving those thoughts power, which meant I would stay awake for hours still thinking about it, I decided to push them away. Literally. I visualised myself grabbing my thoughts and throwing them away. I FORCED myself to stop thinking about it. It was really hard. I felt like I was fighting with two different sides of me. Sounds really weird, but after weeks of doing this, my mind slowly got used to not thinking about it. Every now and again, I lay awake and think about how happy I am with myself for doing that. For actually sticking to my word and not giving in to my negative and hateful thoughts towards my past. There’s always something (loads of things actually) that keep me up. But I’m proud to say it’s not the past!

Even something as small as your regrets, decisions and actions you’ve made, or the arguments with family and friends, or those sly comments from the people you work with. Or even work itself. Just let it all go. What is the point of letting these things wind you up? There are things we have no control over. The only thing we can control, is our reaction to them and how much power we really give them.

So, aim to be so full of love and light that there is no room for hate and darkness. Let the love within you be so strong that it overrides any kind of tension you feel in your heart and mind.

Remember, none of it matters anymore.

Xx

Is it over thinking OR is it your intuition?

Do you know how many times I have had people mistake my gut feelings for negativity? TOO MANY TIMES, to the point where I actually begin to feel that I really am just being negative. I question where those stupid thoughts came from in the first place. Is it my past? Is it my fears? Am I just over-thinking? And yes. Some times it is just negativity. But this isn’t about those times. This is about the other times, the times where you are absolutely right to feel the way you do and to think the thoughts you try your hardest not to.

I have had people argue with me and question me for ‘expecting’ that they would do something wrong, because in that moment they had no idea they would do something like that. But they do end up doing it and then blame me for putting ‘negative energy’ out there… apparently I made that happen? Yh right. Don’t get me wrong I believe in energy and that sometimes thinking negatively can actually jeopardize a certain situation. However I also strongly believe that if something is supposed to happen, thinking negatively and letting out that dark energy would make no difference what so ever. Oh, and most importantly, having a negative outlook on a certain person will not MAKE them do something hurtful. They will do it because they have it in them to do it. That is not on you. If it is in your path, you will experience it. The same way that thinking positively about a situation doesn’t necessarily mean that it will happen. Our minds are strong but mother nature has her ways of working…there are parts of our lives that we have no control over.

This is the one thing I know nearly all of us have experienced, so I suppose you will connect with it and start to understand intuition even more…

Have you ever had a strong feeling that your partner was cheating on you? The sudden thought hits you so forcefully that you feel sick to your stomach, you can’t shake off the feeling. It feels so real! So you confront them and ask them if they have been. They then get so defensive and start making you feel stupid, blaming it on your trust issues and calling you insecure. Have you then felt bad for ‘assuming‘ that they could do such a thing and you tell yourself that they would never do that to you? The same feelings pop up a few months after, you go through the cycle again, but this time, you find that THEY HAVE BEEN!! the entire time. BUT YOU DID NOT LISTEN TO YOURSELF. You ignored yourself and you allowed yourself to be manipulated. You confused your intuition with your insecurities and fears. Most importantly, you allowed someone other than yourself to do that to you.

I say this to EVERYONE, including myself, that when you get a feeling that something is wrong, that someone is being unfaithful. They most probably are. You can tell your intuition apart from your fear by the way it feels, it will feel real. It will make you feel uneasy or the complete opposite – fill you with happiness. Just a few seconds pure happiness, or pure hurt and sadness. It will hit you suddenly, out of absolute nowhere. It is like knowledge that you’ve gained and can never forget no matter how hard you try to. It will linger with you for days, weeks, monthhsss…however long it takes until you acknowledge that it is the truth.

Apply this to EVERYTHING in life. To finding a job, to finding a holiday destination, to a decision that you need to make.

I test my intuition all the time when I am driving. I take two routes to go to work, most of the time I will take only one. So I ask myself, ‘Shall I take this route, or the other one? Will I find traffic this way?’ and I go with my initial thought. Sometimes I ignore my initial thought because at the time I think I am over thinking, only to find that I was right to want to originally take the first route, because I end up being stuck in bloody traffic… FOR AGES! Other times, taking an alternative route doesn’t even cross my mind, that is my confirmation that I am fine with the route I am on. It seems quite weird, but I’ve gotten to really understand how intuition works just a little more by doing this. Try it 🙂

If you have an immediate thought that something will not turn out as you expect it to, or you think you should or shouldn’t do something for whatever reason. Or you feel deep in your gut that someone is not who they portray they are. Or even if someone is worth it!! BELIEVE YOURSELF. You are not being negative, you are not over thinking. Don’t listen to the shit people tell you. It is your intuition, your higher self, your psychic self, that is giving you this information. NOT your fear and not your hopes. You have to learn the difference. Most of time, you will push your thoughts to the back of your mind because you want to give someone a chance, or because you think you are just reflecting your past hurt on your current situation, or you are just being fussy or hopeful, or scared that the time might not be right. Ignore all of it. Go with your initial thought and do not let anyone persuade you otherwise.

xxx

Read more…

 

I want to relate this to people… Friends, relationships, family because after all it is the people in this world that make it harder to live in peace, they are the ones making it harder to love. But they are also the ones that keep us going, show us what love is, inspire us and care for us ♥

I watched Girls Trip last night and this really got me. AMAZING movie btw! Really empowering. This quote reminded me of this movie and inspired me to want to write…

To you beautiful men and women who have been in relationships and have had nothing but bad experiences, being lied to, disloyalty, being made to feel so small and not important enough, abuse etc. You may feel like there is no hope in finding love again, in finding someone who you originally wish you would find before you had your heart torn apart and your identity shattered, only because you allowed yourself to give everything to this person, your love, your trust, your time and energy. You keep hearing friends, colleagues, family members, even strangers who want to express themselves and end up telling you their entire story, also going through it and you think ‘Wow there really isn’t any hope’ ‘I am never going to open up to someone the way I did with him/her’ or ‘They are all the same.’ I definitely thought that. I suppose it is normal?

Any way, yes you experienced something so shit. Yes it might happen again. But it might not? I want to remind everyone that just because those people hurt you it does not mean they will all do the same. It does not mean they are all the same. What it means is that you have to become the BEST version of yourself, be confident, know what you are looking for and do not settle for less. It means that once you do this, you are not able to lose yourself in your next relationship because you will know and love who you are without one! You will not be with someone who will let you lose yourself because you have chosen to be with someone who loves you for you. Not your looks, not your lifestyle, not your body, not for the media but YOU and your silliness, your flaws, your mind, your dreams, your passion, your faith! You might not have ever met someone like this but you can do. If you want it enough you will. Believe that there is good in the world because there is. Have faith.

BECOME THE GOOD IN THIS WORLD SO THAT YOU CAN FIND THE GOOD IN THE WORLD. 

 

xxxx