Releasing your emotions is so important!

Never apologise for expressing yourself.

Never apologise for telling people how you feel.

Never allow them to make you feel wrong for doing so.

 

You may have been that person who always opened up but had it thrown in your face afterwards, which has now made you quite reserved.

 

You may have never had anyone who’d listen to you and attempt to understand you, so you’ve naturally become used to repressing your thoughts and feelings.

 

Either way, know that, feelings should be respected and honoured. All the damn time!

 

I was so used to opening up to people I really cared about, only to have them tell me things like, “you’re too nice” or “you’re draining my energy” or “no, you’re wrong, it’s not true” or, even worse… they became so distant with me afterwards, as if I’ve scared them away. Expressing myself, talking about my true feelings, basically always got thrown back into my face. So I stopped, for ages. I always thought that if I told someone how I felt, they wouldn’t understand, so it was easier to go through it alone. Until I realised, that it’s not actually wrong to tell people how you feel, that you will only scare away the ones who aren’t supposed to be in your life.

 

I still, to this day, find it challenging to talk about my feelings, because I fear being misunderstood, I fear not actually being listened to. The thought of explaining something to someone and being scared of the way they will react puts me off, as it mostly always ends up with them getting defensive and bringing up a load of random shit that had nothing to do with what I was saying in the first place. The thought of opening up makes me vulnerable but I always try to do it. I do it because I love to see the outcome, it allows me to see someones true colours, how they truly feel about me, and how much they value our friendship/relationship. I also open up through my writing, like right now, because it is a way for me to release the past, or present emotions, without me having to directly rely on anyone to help.

 

I went through a whole year where I was repressing everything that I felt. It was my hardest year yet. I held it all in, I never opened up to anyone, yet it was the one time when I should have. But I kept it all to myself. Slowly, my immune system became so low from all of the negativity that I was keeping locked inside of me. My skin became a way for all of those TOXIC thoughts and feelings to release themselves. I ended up getting this horrible skin disorder that left scars all over my body. I struggled so much with it. I had no idea why I was getting it or what it was, and was in and out of my GP and hospitals for 6 months straight, because the doctors also had no idea what it was. The only advice I received was, “you’re stressed” and “you need the sun.” Believe it or not, they were absolutely right. There was no physical or medical cure for my skin problem.

 

I began to learn that my feelings of being trapped and not having anyone to talk to anything about, feeling as though no one understood me, putting myself in situations that I couldn’t handle and having people in my life who were no good for me, all added up. I weren’t saying or doing ANYTHING about it. I started to resent people around me, mostly family and friends, for not being there, and became so angry to the point where I couldn’t look after myself. I was at such a low point that I didn’t even want to. I wasn’t listening to my body and what it was telling me, so it had to free itself somehow. It definitely showed me though.

 

The moment I began to change things around, removing those toxic people from my life, leaving my part-time job, not allowing my parents divorce to bother me as much, my skin improved. So, that was my cure all along. A positive mindset, self-love and change, good change! That was the start of my self-care journey. That was the moment when I decided to pull myself up and never go back down again. I promised myself that no matter how low I do go in the future, I will NEVER stop focusing on my health and myself. I turned to spirituality to help with that, which introduced me to yoga, having healthy mind, body and soul, and loads of amazing spiritual and self-improvement books.

 

So, basically, the moral of my story is, never hold in your emotions and don’t quiet your voice for anyone! Because when you do this, you are really just locking the hurt, the anger and the pain inside your body with no way for it to escape, other than through your body. You’ll notice that when people are stressed, they start loosing hair, they become ill all the time (low immune system), they develop skin disorders and other harmful, life threatening problems… Why? Because of all the harmful feelings and emotions that are eating away at their insides, at their hearts. They are trying to solider through the pain without seeking help, without being heard. Even thinking that they can and should deal with it themselves, without realising that the pressure they are putting on themselves is just as harmful.

 

You don’t have to be alone in these situations. You don’t have to hide. Let it all out. Talk to your friends; find a way to release the pain, preferably through self-care and healthy hobbies, such as the gym, yoga, healthy eating, writing, meditating, reading, singing etc. It is so hard to loose yourself in these moments, it’s so hard to stop yourself from being happy but with enough self worth, you will be fine. Remind yourself daily that you are worth it! You are strong, beautiful and worthy of being heard. You are worthy of living a good life and you sure as hell deserve to do so! We all do.

 

There is so much light in the dark, you just have to look for it.

 

X

Choosing your crystals x

A SIMPLE STEP TO STEP ON HOW TO CHOOSE AND USE YOUR CRYSTALS

STEP 1

Go to one of those cute spiritual shops or stalls that sell crystals. Choose a few that you are attracted to. It could be their colour that stands out to you; it could be their shape or size. You might even get this magnetic force drawing you to them. Don’t think about it. Just pick a few. I choose mine by the colour that I feel most attracted to. Colour is energy!!! So don’t deny your choice just because you think that choosing one by its colour is silly. Every crystal has their own benefits, energies and meanings to them, so when you do choose, ask whoever is working there to tell you what the crystals you chose helps with. You’ll find that it’s probably the ones that relate to your current situations and feelings the most.

 

STEP 2

Go home and cleanse your crystals. You could run them under cold water, put them on your window seal on a full moon, leave them in your garden on the grass so that nature can ground and reenergize them, or cleanse them in the rain. You could even hold them in your hands, one by one, and let them directly feel you energy, visualize yourself connecting with your crystal. I would actually visualise it being my friend, I would think of love, trust and acceptance when holding it.

 

STEP 3

Find a place for them. Put them anywhere you feel that they should go. I keep three next to my bed and two on my window seal. Leave them for a week or two so that they can get used to you and your surroundings and energy.

 

STEP 4

So now, if you want, you can dedicate a crystal to help you with whatever you need guidance and support on – Romance, abundance, positivity, connecting with your spirit guides, angels and subconscious, compassion, protection, communication and confidence, etc.

To do this, lay your crystals in front of you. They say you should light an incense stick or burn some cinnamon to help with this, but you really just need to be in a quiet atmosphere and relaxed state of mind. Close your eyes, or open, whatever suits YOU. Tell yourself that you’re going to choose a crystal for a certain thing, for example, love. Then, choose the first crystal that you feel drawn to when you think of love. Hold it in your hand and tell it that from now on, it will be the crystal for love. You will take it with you when you meet someone for the first time, for a little support. You will have it in your pocket for a little bit of luck. Tell it what you want from it and how it can help you. Again, visualise it being a friend that will guide you through any thing to do with love and romance. It might take a little time for it to work; it depends on how much you trust in your crystals energy. People that don’t believe that they work will not experience the magic of it at all. But that’s like everything really isn’t it?

Hope this helps 🙂

x

Crystal power

Yesterday, I randomly began reading a book (that my lovely cousin gave me as a birthday present) about how to use crystals. It was random because I was in the middle of cleaning my room, it was a bloody mess, I was so hot and so focused on cleaning, yet I somehow found the urge to stop right in the middle of what I was cleaning to pick out this book.

Any way, I found out that you could actually choose a crystal to help with dreaming. This was amazing news for me because I’m so fascinated with my dreams, they are so vivid and meaningful, and most of the time, I wake up feeling so disoriented because I feel like I really lived it. I also have a dream journal where I write down most of my dreams. I look back at it every now and then only to find out that some dreams were warnings, inner emotions that needed healing, past relatives visiting me, or visions of my future and past life. My dreams help me feel connected to everything, my soul, my subconscious, spirituality etc. It is a massive part of me. I’m not so good at reading the signs in my waking life, I mean, I can identify them, but I find it hard to act on them. I’m the type of person that has to SEE something in order to take action on it, because I always doubt my intuition. So, I guess that’s the reason why I rely so much on my dreams and what my subconscious has to tell me, because I can SEE it. It is real.

But recently I haven’t dreamt as much. It’s probably because I’ve been so busy and haven’t given myself or spirituality much thought. Actually, I haven’t focused on it for a few months now (defo not a good thing, I know). As weird as this might sound, I feel disconnected with my soul when I don’t dream.

That night, as I felt myself about to fall asleep, I remembered what I had read in that crystal book. So I looked at my amethyst which is always beside me when I sleep, and said in my head, “help me to dream tonight, show me my next step in life, let it be a sign of something I truly desire.”

Obviously, I had a dream that night…

I was in Cyprus, walking along the beach with my Nan…I said to her “I could live here, I could do it on my own and feel absolutely fine. I feel confident, I feel alive.” I remember thinking how much I missed the warmth, the sun, the sea and the relaxing atmosphere of somewhere that is not London. I felt so content. I felt happy. It was a realisation. 

It’s funny because I’ve been torn between two paths. One is to officially build my vegan dessert business up and dedicate all of my time to it. The other is to move abroad to work as a live in nanny, or in a primary school teaching English. My reason to go abroad is because, just like my dream, I really do miss the sun. I need to escape. I need to feel free again. I need to find myself again…and this might just be my calling to do so. But I stop myself from doing it ALL the time, because I don’t feel confident enough to get up and go for it, on my own.

The choice between the two is killing me. I can’t even imagine choosing, because I’m passionate about both. But, my dream revealed what my soul really wants. My soul spoke to me in my dream; it told me I could do it. It told me that I would be fine. I woke up that morning feeling so good, feeling a little more confident with the idea of moving abroad. I mean, It doesn’t help me make my decision, but I’m very much aware of it now. I trust that an opportunity will present itself when the time is right.

I completely forgot that I spoke to my crystal last night. I smiled as I remembered. I smiled because I’ve found the crystal that will enhance my dreams. Truthfully, I didn’t expect it to work. But it did, wohoo! This stuff works.

Keep an eye out for my next post! It’s a step to step on how to use your crystals.

x

Struggling with an itchy scalp?

It’s one of the most irritating things to suffer with…Constant itching, dandruff, greasy hair, which all result in having to wash it even more than you already do!

My scalp went through a stage where it started to itch like crazy, I’m not going to lie, I thought I might have gotten nits as I worked with children, but nope. Not nits, luckily.

I began to wash my hair way too much because it started to get very greasy, which isn’t normal for my hair as it is thick and curly, I could literally get away with washing it once every week. It ended up being 3 times a week. If you know curly hair then you know this is not good. Washing this hair type too often, dries it out and ruins the curls. It’s generally not good to wash hair too often anyway, as you can strip it of it’s natural oils.

I went online and researched some shampoos that help with dandruff and itchy scalps. One that stood out to me was the Ginger Anti Dandruff Scalp care shampoo from Body Shop (£8.00 for 400ml bottle). Body shop is cruelty free. Ginger has amazing anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties, plus the reviews on this product were mostly positive! So I did buy it. It worked. My hair stopped itching and stopped becoming greasy.

The only down side to this shampoo is that it leaves your hair feeling quite dry, I describe this as ‘horse hair’, it’s not that bad, I just over exaggerate a lot. But it’s nothing that can’t be fixed, just buy a conditioner that has moisturising properties. I use the Banana truly nourishing conditioner from Body Shop (£6.00 for 250ml bottle). It’s amazing and smells amazing too. Sometimes this isn’t enough for thick and dry hair though, you definitely would need a hair mask. I recommend the Virgin olive oil deep conditioning hair mask by Vatika Naturals (£4.99 for 500g from Tesco) Heads up, it’s not cruelty free!

 

Pleeeeeeeease if you guys know of any organic, cruelty free hair masks that actually work, let me know!

Xx